Happy Father's Day!

Calvin (about a week old) with my grandpa Joe Middour

Calvin (11 months) with my grandpa Tracy Hinson

Calvin (13 months) with my Daddy at my wedding dinner

Calvin (1 month) with Charlie. This is one of my favorites.

I'm so blessed to have all of these amazing men in my life. They are wonderful fathers and the reason I'm the semi-sane, decent human being I am today :-)

Cross posted to http://thegigglygourmet.blogspot.com/

"I want to lose 3 pounds."

"Oh my god, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white." 

For those who don't know, these are both quotes from Mean Girls. The title is actually related (somewhat) to this post. The other? Not so much. But it's funny, right? RIGHT! *ahem*

After I had my son, I dropped about 40 pounds within a few weeks. Part of it was the instant loss some experience from having the baby and breastfeeding. Another part of it was me not realizing that I'd actually gained a decent amount of weight without giving it too much thought (because I'm an idiot). Anyway, I've gained most of that back. And I honestly couldn't tell you how much I weigh now. I just guesstimate by the clothes that I wear and how they fit. I have a fear of the digital scale. It's almost a legitimate fear or phobia. Especially the scales that basically give you a "loading" signal before it shows your weight. I feel so intimidated and judged. By a machine. Yes, I am aware how ridiculous I am.

Before I get off on some crazy tangent in which I share too much, I will try to get closer to the point. After a few weeks of self pity and out right disgust, I've set a new goal for myself. It's reasonable and I know I can accomplish it in a healthy, effective way. I would like to lose 10 pounds by Charlie's birthday, which is August 3rd. [I'd also like to do it without spending a bunch of extra money I don't have on questionable supplements and dieting products.] This is the first of many goals but I find that small, reasonable goals work well for me so I will reevaluate once I reach the 10 pound loss. For someone who is only 5'5" and over 200 pounds, I should probably be looking to lose a minimum of 50 pounds or more total. But, for my own sake, I need to keep in mind that slow and steady wins the race.

I've already gotten back into my interval running routine. I use a couch to 5k program that is base on beats per minute so I pace myself better. I do my interval training 3 times a week and walk approximately the same distance on my "off days". I've had 2 or 3 "off days" now because I'm having some joint pains and swelling* issues. However, I am determined to not let this slow me down. I will at the very least be walking 2 to 3 miles everyday, but I am hoping to feel well enough to run intervals. I'm most likely going to have start incorporating more yoga into my workouts as it is low impact exercise and better for my joints.

Along with exercise, it's time to make more changes in how I eat- smaller portions, make an honest effort to keep track of how much water I'm drinking, and put my Paula Dean-like tendencies back into the closet until Thanksgiving. Because I'm sorry. Thanksgiving isn't the same without a boat load of butter, y'all. I'd really like to use less fat and oil altogether. When I need to use fat, I'll be using more olive oil and coconut oil. I will cook at least one meatless meal and one low-carb meal each week. That will probably be the most challenging part, but I'll make it happen. These new meal ideas may also help my budget some, too! Soda has been out of my life for a while, so that's one less hurdle to jump. But sugar is still a problem; less chocolates, ice cream, and sweets in general.

Sounds like a plan. I can totally do this. As an encouragement to myself (and others), I may share some healthier recipes or neat food ideas that I come across or come up with. I think writing about what I'm doing and what's going on will help me stay on track. Now I have to...get on a scale. THE HORROR!

Here's to a healthier...me!

Elle

*The joint pain and swelling aren't new problems. I had some chronic arthritis type symptoms about 2 years ago that seemed to go away after I had Calvin. Now that my body is finally getting back to "normal" 18 months later, I have a feeling a few unpleasant issues are returning. All the more reason to get healthy!


Cross posted to The Giggly Gourmet

I'm so famous, it's like I'm KMD!

Not really. I'm only a teensy bit Internet famous. And KMD is Howie and he was this DJ for this game and...It's a long story. But he's famous and he has a posse. That's all you need to know. Confused yet? Yes? AWESOME! Moving on...

I'm not even really Internet famous. But a few dear friends have brought something to my attention. I was recently named a "gold star mom" for something I posted on Facebook last summer. You can see the special Mother's Day post on STUF, Parents that I am referencing here. The post goes like this:

     'Not having a chance to eat all day, I stopped at Subway on the way back from getting my hair cut. I ate my sandwich in the car while Calvin was asleep in his carseat because I didn't want to share. He's only 10 months old and I'm already "that mom". Sue me.'

8 months later and this is still the case. As soon as he could open his mouth and say, 'aaaahhhh', it was all over. If I have a treat for myself, I save it until my darling child is asleep or I hide in the kitchen while he is playing in the living room. Honestly, sometimes it's not even a treat. Sometimes I just want to eat a meal all by myself, all the way through, while it's still hot, without sharing. It is a lot to ask some days. And the timing of this post coming back to haunt me is hilarious! My husband ate his breakfast upstairs this morning because he woke up after Calvin and I. We had already eaten and Charlie wanted to eat in peace instead of the baby coming up to him saying, "Pease! Pease!" and expecting a bite or seven. Listen, kid. Just because you're all polite and adorable with your "Pease" and "Hank uuu" does not mean you get to eat everything in existence.

Though, on the flip side, the baby-sharing diet can be quite effective. The baby eats half of my meal because the exact same thing that's on his plate isn't good enough. Then, there are some nights I'm too tired after said baby is asleep to even reheat anything. It's not an ideal situation (frankly, it sucks sometimes), but hey. I've lost a pound or two this way.

Oh! It's Friday, isn't it?! Well, technically it's Saturday. Whatever.
___________________________________________

Photo Friday

Charlie, Calvin, and Mr. Puppy the Bear

Have a great weekend!
Elle

PS The blog I linked above [STFU, Parents] contains colorful language and some view points I don't necessarily agree with. It is the view and opinion of another blogger. I referenced it because I was somewhat featured and I am an occasional reader. Though, I'll probably read it a lot more, now!

Foto Friday

Typically, in the grand world of the Internet, you're supposed to post your old pictures on Thursday. They call it "Throwback Thursday". They're so clever because those two words begin with the same 2 letters.  So today is [throwback] Foto Friday. See? I can be clever, too! 

Squishy face!

 Here is one of my very favorite pictures. This was taken a year ago, give or take a few days. When I'd help him make this face it had us all giggling. And nearly a year later, squishing his little face like this still sends both he and I into a ball of laughs. Life is too short to go a day without laughter.

<3

Anne Wheaton was right...

Yes. Wil Wheaton's wife was totally right. Cleaning out the silverware drawer by taking everything out and washing it is for suckers. Just use the hose attachment on your vacuum. It will change your life.

This message brought to you by a sudden urge to clean ALL THE THINGS.

Elle

Photo Friday

I'm cutting it a little close, but the little guy has been recovering from a mysterious 24 hour bug-type thing today.

This was the first time I've been able to put Calvin's plate on his tray and him not immediately turn it over. He thinks that this whole feeding himself thing is pretty awesome. And utensils? Those are grand fun. It's bittersweet, honestly. I'm glad he's learning an becoming more independent. At the same time, it's all happening so fast.

You never truly understand "they grow up so fast" until you have a kid of your own.

Elle

Photo Friday

As I've done in my original blog, I'm going to try an experiment. In an effort to keep momentum going and to continue writing, I would like to post a picture (or several) each Friday. It may be will most likely be a picture of my son or husband, or it may be something else I found interesting. Depending on what was going on that day or week, there may or may not be a caption or short post to go along with it. We'll just see how it goes.

Here's my little blue-eyed wonder playing the matching game that came with
our egg-dying kit.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Elle

We need to stop competing with each other and just live!

So now, not only am I inadequate for being a stay-at-home mother but I also "don't know what real stress is" because I only care for one child. Let me start over--

I read a blog post via a friend's Facebook today. I could really relate to it. I didn't necessarily agree with every single word she said, but I also realized that it was written from her perspective and the thoughts she shared were based on her own experiences. That is often what blog posts consist of. Remember old school, hand-written diaries and journals? Remember how personal they were and what someone wrote in them would  often be based on their own experiences? Well a blog is like that (a lot of the time), only it's digital and instead of locking it up it can be shared with people all over the world. So back to that post...

The author is stay-at-home mom. Instead of going to a job outside of the home, she stays at home to take care of the kids and keep up with the day to day running of the household. Her children are her "employers". She doesn't get paid, but in turn she does not have to pay for childcare. Her husband goes to work and comes home to help out with the kids, spend time with his family, and probably do more work (whether it be job related or something around the house). There are many pros and cons to this situation, but ultimately this is what works best for her family. I'm in a similar position. While I'm currently looking for part-time work and have worked part-time in the past, I have primarily been a stay-at-home mom to my son Calvin for all of his 17 months. My husband, Charlie, has been the one to work full-time in order to pay the bills and provide for our family. It's not always an ideal situation, but after careful consideration and weighing our options, this is how we chose to live our lives. Ultimately it comes down to the fact that it just works for us. At least for now.

As I was nearing the end of the post, I was debating with myself. "Should I read the comments or just steer clear of the possible rage reading them might bring?" I'm sure you can make a good guess as to what choice I made since I'm here writing up my own blog entry. The further down in the comments section I read, the angrier I got. So many people were taking offense to what Mrs. King wrote. They were taking it personally as if she was making a generalization about every family with no room for differences. Then there were comments to the comments. Men were upset because she only mentioned being a stay-at-home mom. Men were also upset because they assumed that she meant that all men came home after work and kicked back to relax rather than help with dinner or the kids. Working parents were mad because she didn't mention the sacrifices they make or the moments they miss. Aunts, uncles, same sex couples, grandparents-anyone and everyone was offended because their specific situation wasn't mentioned. By the time I stopped myself from reading anymore ridiculous comments all I could really think was that I'm a bad person for wanting to stay home with my son. I'm also a bad person because I'm not a man. I'm lazy because I only have one kid and don't rush to the door with slippers and a paper in hand when my husband gets home from work. WHAT?! And it's not just this particular blog that can make me think those things. Every single day we are judging others and making assumptions based on little to no context. We make snide comments because we don't agree with someone else's choices or we obviously know better. We get angry and say mean things to one another simply because we can.

Stop it. Just stop it! All of you. Take a step back from the keyboard. Deep breath in...and out. Better? Good, pressing on. Your neighbor's life is completely different from yours. His or her family has a very unique history. That person living halfway across the world that you just yelled at because they are raising their child in way that is contrary to everything you know is from a different culture. That family with 6 kids? They aren't doing anything wrong, they're just doing what works best for them. And that is the point- do what is best for you and your family. That's all you have to do. Leave everyone else be. There is enough negativity in this world already. We don't need to be at each other's throats because each of our families have varying ways of doing things.

On my very best day, I still wonder if I'm getting this whole parenting thing right. I always question myself and the choices I make for my family. But at the end of that same day, I put my son to bed and I am certain I'm on the right track. Things might not be perfect, but we're doing the best we can and that's pretty fantastic.   I honestly believe that's all you can do. Do your best. Strive to be the best you can be and don't worry about keeping up with the Joneses. And please stop yelling at the Joneses for sharing their personal experiences.

Elle

PS I know this was long-winded. If you made it this far, thank you very much for reading.

Something New

Well, here we are again. Yet another blog that I may or may not keep up with. I'm hoping to use this as more of a journal than a public, "Hey you! Read this!" type of thing. Many posts will likely be public, but I'd like it to still have a "Dear Diary" feel to it. I want a space where I can talk plainly and not have to try so hard at being witty. I want to be able to talk about my relationship with my husband. I want to talk about being a mother. I want to talk about how I'm really wanting and trying to improve myself. I want to be a better daughter, wife, mother, and just a better person in general. 

For the most part? I'm a happy person. I love to laugh and giggle; I think it's good for the soul. I'm a smartass and sarcasm is my middle name. My favorite movies are comedies. I enjoy finding the good in life. Sure I have fleeting moments of sadness or anger. There are a few topics that make me particularly tearful or ragey. But I work hard to not focus solely on those things. I feel it's important to look for the good, even in a bad situation. Depending on the situation, it can be difficult to keep that in mind, but I do try. Even with that, I know I can be better.

I'm not perfect. I have a LOT of things I need to work on in my life. I need to manage my time better. I need to focus on breathing when I get angry instead of just yelling and lashing out. I want to be stronger physically and emotionally. I want to focus my energy doing the most good I can. I want to have the courage to take my ideas and actually put them to use. I want to follow through with the tasks I say I will do. I need to be more active. I want to be able to teach my son meaningful skills and help him reach his milestones. I want to be the best mother I can be. I want to have a strong, lasting relationship with Charlie that will grow and flourish and make us both better for it. And I'm pretty certain that I can accomplish these things eventually.

It certainly does help to talk things out. So, I guess that's why I'm here...